Danny DeVito

Chief Wyatt Rash

Bette Midler

Mona Dearly

Neve Campbell

Ellen Rash

Jamie Lee Curtis

Rona Mace

Casey Affleck

Bobby Calzone

William Fichtner

Phil Dearly

Marcus Thomas

Jeff Dearly

Peter Dobson

Lt. Feege Gruber

Kathleen Wilhoite

Lucinda

Tracey Walter

Clarence

Will Ferrell

Cubby

Paul Ben-Victor

Deputy Tony Carlucci

Paul Schulze

Deputy Jimmy D.

Mark Pellegrino

Murph Calzone

Raymond O'Connor

Father Tom Stowick

Lisa Rieffel

Valerie

Robert Arce

Doctor Schwartz

Brittany Peterson

Maria Lasala

Philip Perlman

Charm Motel Cashier

Melissa McCarthy

Shirley

Jason Monkarsh

Benny

Brian Doyle-Murray

Tow Truck Driver

Yul Vazquez

French Instructor

Danielle Camastra

White Trash Golfer (uncredited)